Sunday, February 28 2010, 23:10

I think I'm done with the sofa, I think I'm done with the hall...

It's been almost a week since the adrenalathon that was the Mardi Gras Parade. This year was my second time taking part, and if I thought my outfit last year was ridiculously camp (tiny shorts plus sash), this year's was slightly less so: tinier shorts (is it possible?) accessorised with boots, truncheon, handcuffs, aviator sunnies, and an LAPD baseball cap. If you hadn't guessed it, we were in the 'Outside' group in the George Michael float. This year I was joined by Chris and Mikey (fellow veterans from last year), John, Chris, Dan, Mike, Eric & David, Rob & Jason, Paul, and Jav. This year it was a gloriously hot, blue-skied sunny day. Perfect for Kodak moments ;)

The hours spent cooped up in the staging area began with an HOUR queuing to use the toilet. Yes, five cubicles for the use of hundreds of people. The highlight of this otherwise dull episode in my life occurred when a pair of American guys busted two cheeky girls blatantly edging past them in the toilet crowd; the ensuing verbal abuse was strident and actually effective. I thought the girls had weathered it, but they suddenly broke and ran - no idea if they managed to spend a penny before the parade started or not! John and I wandered around the staging area after that, lighter by at least a litre of wee, snapping the weird and wonderful who make up the colourful party people of the night's spectacle.

Returning to our float, we found everyone dancing to our George mix on loop. I was pretty sure I was going to be sleep-dancing that choreography without practising it for one second longer than absolutely necessary, and with forty-five minutes of it on the horizon, it definitely seemed unnecessary. And sure enough, those forty-five minutes suddenly began, the float started moving, and we danced up the street to the thousands lining Oxford Street.

It's impossible to describe just how exhilarating being in that parade is. "Exciting" doesn't even get close. It's a prolonged moment of wild thrilling celebrity grinning headrush fatigue anxious elated thirsty ordered paparazzi panic. All of those things on repeat, with occasional recurring notions of "fuck, we're not in a line!", "fuck, we're too far forward/behind", "gasp, I'm so thirsty, where's the water?", "ew, my head is running with sweat", "fuck, I screwed that bit up", "fuck, stop singing or the photos will have my mouth in some stupid shape", etc., etc. And then, "Are we nearly there yet?", and finally, the big lighted sign saying, "End of parade", that releases the pressure like so much air out of a radiator and your feet at length acquaint you with their displeasure at your callous disregard for their ongoing comfort. Ouch. Exhaustion. Ouch. But smiles everywhere.

Last year we'd decided against going to the party because I correctly guessed I'd be way too tired. This year, Mardi Gras have put the famous party on the following weekend instead of directly after the party. In its place they had Carnival, a new event with free entry for MG members and paraders. The cheapskate in me was irrepressible. Free!? We're going! Overriding footsoreweariness and nervous exhaustion, we dragged our satiny-clad arses home for a sit down and a spritzer. Flicking through Foxtel channels for some video reportage, I found Arena+2 playing the entire parade and we sat with rising expectation, waiting for our big moment on tv. Well, if you were reading my tweet/FB updates on the day, you'll know that the camera passed over our entire group several times but cut elsewhere as soon as it got anywhere near myself, John, Chris, or Mikey. There goes another fleeting brush with fame. It's alright for award-winning John, he's had his moment on the international stage. The rest of us will have to make do with the occasional undignified notoriety of surfacing in fagmag clubbing snaps.

And so the second half of the night began, with a taxi back to the Entertainment Quarter for Carnival. And on Saturday the closing half of Mardi Gras begins, with the enormously famous Mardi Gras Party, headlined by George himself, and Toybox on Sunday. See you on the other side!

So many photos and videos from the parade. Here are a few: my photos, our official float photos (including mine), a commercial album (pre-parade group pics here and mid-parade pics here), another facebook album, and some great youtube videos here and here. Wow. Loads of pics!